To Some, It's BACH!

  The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (These are *real*)
Compiled By: Bill Atchley (atchley@coltrane.gnets.ncsu.edu)
  • Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

  • Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life

  • Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

  • Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

  • How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

  • How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?

  • I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

  • I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

  • I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

  • I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. (Note: 8 songs below, these should be sung in two part harmony!)

  • I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

  • I Wanna Whip Your Cow

  • I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck

  • I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

  • I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

  • I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

  • I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised

  • I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

  • I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line

  • If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

  • If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low

  • If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

  • If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

  • If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

  • Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

  • My Every Day Silver Is Plastic

  • My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

  • My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

  • Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You

  • Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill

  • She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft

  • She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

  • She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

  • She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty

  • Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone

  • They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out

  • Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

  • When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In

  • You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too

  • You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd

  • You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

  • You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

  • You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

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